Is your marriage on the rocks?Have you decided it's time to look at your options?
Being married is a life-long commitment to another person that you will love each other, for as long as you both should live. Remember that? But, life gets in the way of the idyllic fantasy, people seem to change over time, and a life of love and commitment can feel more like a life of punishment, restriction, and unhappiness. The facts are clear though and maintaining a marriage is hard work.
This is the part we seem to forget, in order to maintain and grow that loving bond, two people need to be in communication and willing to look at options to keep on wanting to be married.
I have been a therapist, coach, and counsellor for 10 years and I have seen and heard about every possible reason people want to throw in the towel for their marriage. But, this is normally a lack of communication and feelings that they have gone in different directions and now you don’t see eye to eye with your partner.
Marriage that end in divorce
How Does This Work?
First, we need to talk. Typically marriage coaching and counselling sessions will be done over the course of 3 months. We will discuss your particular situation and how best to plan the next course of action.
The sessions will be broken into specific sections. Ideally, I will need to meet with each of you separately, as well as together. It’s paramount I get to understand each of you to best help you through this journey.
I’ve seen couples at war, find solace, simply by understanding one each other once more. You’ve heard the saying “we’re just not on the same wavelength”? This is the biggest reason marriages begin to fail. Communication is the is the problem, but also the solution too.
What Reasons Do People Come to You?
OK, this is not easy to narrow down, but as you can probably imagine, I have coached and counselled couples who have been unfaithful, lost their direction, want different things from life, fallen out of love, broken trust, unreliable, in truth, the list goes on.
The overriding factor in all cases is that one of you really feels like they have something worth saving. Is that you? Counselling and coaching can’t be seen as a magic wand for love, but it can be magical how a new viewpoint can make the world of difference.
Acceptance is the key. For this to have the best chance of success for your marriage, both of you will need to embrace some changes.
What Are My Options?
The first and best option would be to agree with your partner that this is the right course of action for you to take at this time.
We’ll have a conversation and then plan the first stages. This will be at least 1 couples meeting, plus a session with each of you on your own. These sessions are vital as this is when I get to understand each of you and your own personal reasons and psychological drivers.
The investigation part of the process gets us off on the right foot and allows all other sessions to be in a couples format to maximise impact.
Sessions are run to a time frame you agree, and typically we will have made some solid ground in 8 – 12 weeks.
If you don’t have your partner on your side and you are investigating options for yourself, then relationship coaching for one of you can still be effective. This approach will give a very one-sided view, but can still offer ideas and solutions to the current situation.
Can I Help Your Marriage?
My sole aim isn’t necessarily to save your marriage. It is, however, to help you both understand where you may have become disconnected and how to can regain that once more. I will add clarity to miscommunication. As I mentioned before most marriages suffer due to poor communication and connection. I will guide you to both regain a good level of each others’ understanding.
The last thing I want is for a couple to remain unhappily married. This is a false goal and “fighting for the marriage” is not the best principle.
Working together to regenerate your marriage is what we will be working towards. The goal is to re-spark that connection that was once there if there is still energy to reignite?
I’m free to talk about any relationship and marriage challenges so please do feel free to get in touch to see what’s the best course of action for you.
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It’s natural at this point to have some reservations, remember, we will discuss your requirements before you need to decide whether we are a good fit to work on your issue. Get in touch.