Living The Life

In this session, I’ll be explaining a very simple but completely overlook mindset tips that will allow you to have the upper hand and prevent unnecessary conflicts with Loved ones in the quest for the no longer common long lasting relationship and marriage.

Whenever I have couple sat in with me to talk about their relationships and their relationship issues, more often than not the person begins to describe to me how their life-long partner squeezes the toothpaste from the middle rather than from the end, or other little petty niggles like never re-sealing packets the way that they would do. It seems in so many cases that the real small things begin to mount up in relationships and when they do, they seem insurmountable and begin to make an impact, pulling people apart. The most interesting thing though, is that these niggles, and the small annoyances that all of us have, become the thigs we most miss about people should we ever loose then for some reason! Think about that for a moment, the relationships that come to an end through death or breakup. You hear people talk about their other half’s little quirks and how that they miss them so much, and how cute they are and how they use to individualise them, which is one of the reasons that made them so special.  Accept without exception.

Ask, Don’t Guess
Guessing, is possibly the biggest reason that couples fall out for no apparent reason. Let me explain this a little bit more. Imagine for a moment you walk in from a real tough day at work, your boss has been an arse, and nothing seems to have gone to plan. You’re driving home feeling frustrated and annoyed knowing that you do not want to bring this through the front door and on to your partner, you decide you can go straight in get changed and go downstairs forgetting about the worries to the day to simply enjoy the night. but as luck would have it, things aren’t going to go to plan here either. You get in, determined not to let this ruin your night, you drop your bits at the door march upstairs, you wash your face and put some comfies on  and go downstairs, but you’re met with a miserable looking face. You immediately start thinking, I don’t know why bother, they are in a mood with me for some silly reason, and after the day I’ve had I can’t be bothered to go into it now. Your face is now like thunder as is theirs, you sit down to watch some rubbish on TV and very little is said apart from the odd sneer or snigger. You go to bed like this, wake up the following morning stomping around the house, you both still playing the silent treatment because the other started it. Sound familier? However, something very important happened here which should and from now on will be avoided. When you walked through the door with good intentions and not to bring your problems home, little do you know your partner was about to step through into the hallway to give you a kiss and welcome you home, but all they saw was the back of you marching up the stairs. While you are getting ready looking forward to coming downstairs and spending the evening, they were in the kitchen getting frustrated that you had blanked them after they have been so looking forward to you coming home. So you then come downstairs to begin your evening to the most miserable face you’d ever seen, and again you make the fatal mistake, of guessing rather than asking. Firstly assume there’s nothing wrong, but also ask an offer on ear if they need it. if you’re quick enough and you can realise what’s just happened perhaps you can begin with an apology and say something like ” after the day I’ve had, I wanted to come home and have a fantastic evening so I’m really sorry if when I came in I seemed flustered and angry, that wasn’t my intention, I wanted to get cosy and not let it ruin our night, are you OK?”

Support and Coach
Supporting and coaching each other may seem like an obvious part to a successful relationship but it’s not for everyone. If your partner has a goal, or something that they really want to achieve or something that they’re working on, really help them get that. There may be times where they seem to fall off the wagon, you’re probably the closest person to them and therefore you’re the one who needs to help them get back on track, especially if the thing that they’re working towards will help them in some way even if it’s just create an amazing feeling because they want to achieve it, support and coach wherever you can.  it will show you care, and so many relationship breakdowns are because people feel like the others are on a different path and that they’re not interested in your goals and what’s important to you.

Let It Go
I’m definitely not about the song from Frozen here, I’m talking about letting go of a grudge or hard feeling. Let’s face it, the only person that hurts from holding a grudge, is the person that holds it. It’s like hanging onto a hot coal, the only burns the person not letting it go. There’s another great saying that I once heard from Wayne Dyer and its ” nobody ever dies from a snakebite, it’s the venom inside that kills” thankfully removing venom that is a grudge is a simple as letting it go.

Listen up, and see what else you learn and discover during this podcast, and leave me comments or contact me on social media to discuss anything.