Welcome to Influence, Psychology and Persuasion
This is session number 009 of Influence Psychology and Persuasion. And I honestly don’t know why this wasn’t the very first show. I really don’t. It came to me this week while I attended some sale training and concurrently completed the book ASK by Ryan Levesque. The secret sauce in this show is………. ask and keep it simple! OK, there is a little more to this than I am making out here but, the real key here is simplicity, honesty, curiosity and asking quality questions. This needs to be your default position at all times. Forget the advanced tac-ticks and body language for now. Get very good at getting very simple.
Get smart, Get simple
People like simplicity. Simplicity allows us to run on autopilot, act and communicate on a level we are comfortable. We tend to stick to things we like, and to what feels the most comfortable to us. Simplicity just feels right. This is why I’m suggesting before you look to upskill, down skill. haha, you know what I mean? First thing is first and it’s time to go back to basics. Simplicity, honesty, and curiosity. These are the key to a curious mind, and a mindset that will naturally enquire and allow you into a person’s world, this is the place where the magic can happen.
Where is this useful and where can I apply?
As I said above, this needs to be your default position and therefore, this is an area you should spend some time in. Practice here will ensure you have mastered simplicity. A great basis to work on before you begin to layer all other techniques or principles onto it.
- Work with colleagues
- Home with spouse and children
- On the phone
Do you get the picture? Practice and use this everywhere from now on. Practice makes permanent and this needs to become your default position for you to become naturally charismatic and influential. So what exactly do you need to do to simplify?
- Assume you know very little in all cases. Talking only allows you to repeat what you know, listening allows you to gain knowledge. Knowledge is power when used correctly.
- Apply some TED! OK in my mind TED is a large man who has a white shirt and thick black rimmed glasses. (You don’t need to remember what I think he looks like) TED likes to ask questions and he always gets people to open up and give him what he wants. An understanding of how he can help them best. TED stands for TELL, EXPLAIN, and DESCRIBE and these magical questions allow people to enter a trance-like state where they are able to bring into life what they are expressing. He also nods very slightly with his head ever so slightly tilted and These state generation type questions are so powerful and all you are doing is asking or inquiring with a sense of curiosity.says from time to time. “That’s interesting”. He’s also very good at keeping quiet, just long enough to allow for the interaction to flow.
- ASK again. Clarity is the most powerful persuasion and influence tool. Whether you are having a debate with a spouse or you are in the middle of a huge sale for your company. You always have to remain clear, this means……. asking for clarity. “So that I fully understand, in your mind why is it you say I should? Or How can we X….. for you? What can we do to work with you? If there was one thing missing from this that would make the whole process go well for you, what would it be?” Don’t feel like you should know if in any doubt, ask and get clear. In fact not, knowing is ……. knowing and clarity.
I already do ask, what’s new?
That! exactly that! If at any point in this you have started to ask yourself “what’s new or what’s coming next”. Then that is the very reason asking is so important. Imagine for a minute you have listened to the podcast, read the post or watched the video and you have some questions. If you and I ever had the chance to talk about this and you were to ask me about keeping it simple and asking, do you think you’d get the exact same outcome and answers from me? Of course not, I’d have new ways to describe it. If asked, “TELL me about an example of where you have used this is business”. I would have to give you an answer, and this my friend is the reason to ask, ask and ask. In influence and persuasion, you can never have enough information. Questions and curiosity are your friends.
Put this is in a business context. Perhaps you’re designing a new product or service. How are you going to know if anyone wants it? Ask. Think about this from a validation point of view. Your customer will tell you what they want. They will explain all of the issues they are having. This gives you total clarity.